Dare to Read

September 30, 2011

Meet Becquer. A Query in Progress – Take 3

Filed under: Becquer,Fantasy,Garlic for Breakfast,On Publishing,On Writing,Paranormal,Query — carmenferreiroesteban @ 9:02 am
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by Carmen Ferreiro-Esteban

 

Thank you so much to Kay (at http://www.kaysbookshelf.com) for commenting on my previous query.

And now for my take number 3.

BECQUER ETERNAL is the story of a writer desperately looking for an agent while trying to survive her two smarty teenagers. So desperate is she that she signs with Becquer, an impossibly good looking man with a devilish smile, even though she knows he is an immortal that lives on human blood and that his secretary, and maybe lover, wants her out of the deal.

This time we are down to 65 words. I think this one could work as a pitch, an elevator pitch that is, for a real pitch, I’m told, is just one sentence. So I guess I would have to cheat and insert a comma where the period is now.

What do you think?

BTW did you notice I changed the title? Any preferences there?

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2 Comments »

  1. Thanks for the shout-out 🙂

    My favorite is still Take 2, although if you’re trying to write a sentence-long pitch Take 3 is clearly the way to go (perhaps with a semicolon instead of the period?). Also, I think you might replace ‘So desperate is she that she signs with Becquer’ with ‘Desperate enough to sign with Becquer’, to further decrease the word count.

    Comment by Kay — October 1, 2011 @ 3:50 pm | Reply

  2. Thanks, Kay.

    Comment by carmenferreiroesteban — October 3, 2011 @ 8:08 am | Reply


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